Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Sticks and Stones
There's always a root to a problem: the difficult part is to identify it.
There's always been a common root to my moody days, but I've never identified it. It's not because I don't know what the root is. It's because I don't want to admit the truth to myself. Self-denial. The most convincing lying technique - even you yourself are fooled.
Yesterday, I finally admitted the truth to myself, and to someone else as well. To say it aloud, to actually hear myself say the words, it turned out to be... a relief. Who knew? Perhaps facing your troubles heads on isn't such a bad thing after all, and ignorance isn't always bliss.
After yesterday, the only thing to do now is to move on. It's not going to be easy, because there are some things you'll never forget, but heck, I gotta try, at least. I won't try to forget the past, because that's almost impossible, and well, the past is part of what makes who I am... to forget the past is to forget, well, me.
What I need to do is to know - no, to believe - that whatever in the past should not drag me down. I will be strong, and get through this. I will not be weak, and I shall prove to others and more importantly, I shall prove to myself that sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
There's always been a common root to my moody days, but I've never identified it. It's not because I don't know what the root is. It's because I don't want to admit the truth to myself. Self-denial. The most convincing lying technique - even you yourself are fooled.
Yesterday, I finally admitted the truth to myself, and to someone else as well. To say it aloud, to actually hear myself say the words, it turned out to be... a relief. Who knew? Perhaps facing your troubles heads on isn't such a bad thing after all, and ignorance isn't always bliss.
After yesterday, the only thing to do now is to move on. It's not going to be easy, because there are some things you'll never forget, but heck, I gotta try, at least. I won't try to forget the past, because that's almost impossible, and well, the past is part of what makes who I am... to forget the past is to forget, well, me.
What I need to do is to know - no, to believe - that whatever in the past should not drag me down. I will be strong, and get through this. I will not be weak, and I shall prove to others and more importantly, I shall prove to myself that sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
i know that i have loved you ... at 3:46 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 comments
fate crumbled all around 0 comments