Thursday, May 04, 2006
Life's Too Short
People always say "life's too short", and that we should live every day like it's our last... but how many of us actually do it? Do we really want to go through every day like it's the last day? Wouldn't that just be really depressing?
Yes, I know that it means you're supposed to appreciate everything you've got, and actually enjoy life. It's just easier said than done.
Recently, I heard from a friend that her friend's dying from a tumour. It really shocked me. Even though it isn't someone I know... the fact that it's someone our age.. The prospect of it just scares me.
A thought struck me: What if I die tomorrow?
I will never be able to go to Venice and float along the river in a gondola. I will never be able to watch a play on Broadway in New York. Or go to China and see my grandmother's hometown. Or finish my undergraduate degree. Or read the neverending list of books I've always wanted to read. Or master Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Or say "I love you".
It's the last one that seems the most possible and the most impossible at the same time. Perhaps it's my Asian upbringing, or simply my non-sentimental family.. but saying "I love you" is just something I can't manage. I could say it in jest, but to say it seriously? Impossible. To write it down already takes a tremendous amount of courage. To say it aloud suggests I have more courage than I actually do.
So forgive me for not being able to say it. That doesn't mean that I don't mean it. I try to show it, and if you think that I'm not showing that I love you, please try to keep in mind that I'm trying my best.
No matter how long we've known each other, how much we understand each other, I still love and care for you. Even if we've grown apart, even if we don't talk anymore, that doesn't mean you're gone from my heart.
I love you all.
Maybe someday, I can say it aloud.
Yes, I know that it means you're supposed to appreciate everything you've got, and actually enjoy life. It's just easier said than done.
Recently, I heard from a friend that her friend's dying from a tumour. It really shocked me. Even though it isn't someone I know... the fact that it's someone our age.. The prospect of it just scares me.
A thought struck me: What if I die tomorrow?
I will never be able to go to Venice and float along the river in a gondola. I will never be able to watch a play on Broadway in New York. Or go to China and see my grandmother's hometown. Or finish my undergraduate degree. Or read the neverending list of books I've always wanted to read. Or master Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Or say "I love you".
It's the last one that seems the most possible and the most impossible at the same time. Perhaps it's my Asian upbringing, or simply my non-sentimental family.. but saying "I love you" is just something I can't manage. I could say it in jest, but to say it seriously? Impossible. To write it down already takes a tremendous amount of courage. To say it aloud suggests I have more courage than I actually do.
So forgive me for not being able to say it. That doesn't mean that I don't mean it. I try to show it, and if you think that I'm not showing that I love you, please try to keep in mind that I'm trying my best.
No matter how long we've known each other, how much we understand each other, I still love and care for you. Even if we've grown apart, even if we don't talk anymore, that doesn't mean you're gone from my heart.
I love you all.
Maybe someday, I can say it aloud.
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:39 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 comments
fate crumbled all around 0 comments