Friday, March 31, 2006
I Know I'm Unreasonable But I Don't Care
I know I can be really unreasonable sometimes. Heck, you know I can be unreasonable sometimes (well, maybe, all the time). But to be honest, sometimes I just don't care. I just can't be bothered. I'm sick of caring about what other people think. I'm tired, you know. I have a life - my life. I don't want to waste my time worrying about what other people might think of the way I speak or behave.
I've been stressing out lately. Don't ask me what. It's just a whole range of things, all combined together into one throbbing headache.
So can you blame me for being more unreasonable than usual?
Why is it that some people ask you to accept them as they are, yet demand you to change who you are? How is that fair, I ask you? I realize that I, too, demand change in people... I know I shouldn't, but I do it anyway, because I have a fairly high standard of expectation in people. I expect you to live up to it, even though I should know that you can't live up to it. As long as you don't dictate my life, I'm fine. So stop telling me about how I'm acting in such a horrible way, because you do it too. Stop telling me to keep your so-called secrets, when you're going around announcing to everyone. Stop acting like you know me so much, because you don't know me at all.
I realise that I can be mean, petty, childish and so on... but can you please admit that you have flaws too? Is that so hard to do?
I'm mean, because I'm moody and depressed and stressed. Can you see that? Sometimes, it's because of something you did.. something that hurt me, so I want to take revenge and hurt you back. Petty, I know. But I never said I was mature, did I?
I'm childish, and I complain and whine about trivial stuff... but that's because I need to get my mind off certain other, serious things. You're childish too, sometimes. Why is it called "fooling around and being fun" when it's you, but simply called "whiny and childish" when it's me? What's with the double standard?
I'm tired of being around certain people. I need to distance myself from them for a while. They're not good for me at all. All they do is agitate me. I don't have time for this. Not now. Actually, not ever.
I can't do this - this whole change-myself-for-the-better. It's not fair. You're unreasonable too, yet you insist you're in the right, and I'm in the wrong. Why should I change myself? Can we just tell each other how much we hate each other's guts and get this over with? Can we just be honest, no matter how brutal? Isn't honesty the best policy?
Except that honesty hardly ever works in real life, does it? It only comes back and stabs you in the back. I had too much experience with "honesty" and "confrontation" in the past. Nothing good ever comes out from it. All you get is pain and more pain.
So I shall continue life as normally as I could. Whatever that means, anyway. I'll pretend I don't hate you, pretend you don't hurt me, pretend you don't stress me out. Life works out better that way.
I've been stressing out lately. Don't ask me what. It's just a whole range of things, all combined together into one throbbing headache.
So can you blame me for being more unreasonable than usual?
Why is it that some people ask you to accept them as they are, yet demand you to change who you are? How is that fair, I ask you? I realize that I, too, demand change in people... I know I shouldn't, but I do it anyway, because I have a fairly high standard of expectation in people. I expect you to live up to it, even though I should know that you can't live up to it. As long as you don't dictate my life, I'm fine. So stop telling me about how I'm acting in such a horrible way, because you do it too. Stop telling me to keep your so-called secrets, when you're going around announcing to everyone. Stop acting like you know me so much, because you don't know me at all.
I realise that I can be mean, petty, childish and so on... but can you please admit that you have flaws too? Is that so hard to do?
I'm mean, because I'm moody and depressed and stressed. Can you see that? Sometimes, it's because of something you did.. something that hurt me, so I want to take revenge and hurt you back. Petty, I know. But I never said I was mature, did I?
I'm childish, and I complain and whine about trivial stuff... but that's because I need to get my mind off certain other, serious things. You're childish too, sometimes. Why is it called "fooling around and being fun" when it's you, but simply called "whiny and childish" when it's me? What's with the double standard?
I'm tired of being around certain people. I need to distance myself from them for a while. They're not good for me at all. All they do is agitate me. I don't have time for this. Not now. Actually, not ever.
I can't do this - this whole change-myself-for-the-better. It's not fair. You're unreasonable too, yet you insist you're in the right, and I'm in the wrong. Why should I change myself? Can we just tell each other how much we hate each other's guts and get this over with? Can we just be honest, no matter how brutal? Isn't honesty the best policy?
Except that honesty hardly ever works in real life, does it? It only comes back and stabs you in the back. I had too much experience with "honesty" and "confrontation" in the past. Nothing good ever comes out from it. All you get is pain and more pain.
So I shall continue life as normally as I could. Whatever that means, anyway. I'll pretend I don't hate you, pretend you don't hurt me, pretend you don't stress me out. Life works out better that way.
i know that i have loved you ... at 12:30 AM
fate crumbled all around 1 comments
fate crumbled all around 1 comments