Thursday, February 02, 2006
More Depressing News...
Seems like I'll be feeling depressed for the next few days... Yesterday, I met up with Joey and the others for yum cha. I met an old classmate from high school, Alexis, who turns out to be Joey's brother's girlfriend! This city is so freaking small, I tell ya. To be honest, I wasn't all that close with Alexis. She was always a bit too friendly for my taste. It was getting a little crowded, you know? Well, after yesterday, I felt so guilty for thinking so meanly of her.
We were talking, and Alexis told me what was going on in school last year. No good news, it turns out. Many girls in school were high on drugs. Several girls in my class got pregnant, and a girl - whom I thought nice and sweet - had a seizure from taking too much drugs. A teacher was beaten up by her husband, and never returned to the school.
It was a shock, listening to Alexis recounting all this. Part of me was horrified. How could so many things happen in the period of one year? Another part of me was relieved that I left school early and escaped all that. And another part of me felt horribly guilty. Here I was, thinking mean thoughts about Alexis, who had to go through a year of that horror in school.
It started me thinking all sorts of thoughts. What if I had stayed? Would I be the same person? Would I go down the path so many of my schoolmates went? Would I attend uni? Would I be more appreciative of the university life I led now? Would things still be the same? Probably not. How could it be?
I just couldn't believe this was happening to people I actually know. You read about these things on the newspapers, hear about it from others... but you don't expect it to happen to you, or to people you know. You think it'll never happen to you, and you'll never feel the impact. That is when it hits the hardest.
I want to break down and cry... and cry for those who can't do it themselves. I hate this world sometimes. The diseases, pain and suffering it brings. It hurts so damn much! I know I have to remind myself that there are also miracles, happiness and love, but it's hard. It's so tempting to harden your heart, than try to keep the wounded heart open a bit longer.
My old classmates... where ever you are, whatever you do... I hope you are well. And me... I'll be depressed a bit longer, I think.
We were talking, and Alexis told me what was going on in school last year. No good news, it turns out. Many girls in school were high on drugs. Several girls in my class got pregnant, and a girl - whom I thought nice and sweet - had a seizure from taking too much drugs. A teacher was beaten up by her husband, and never returned to the school.
It was a shock, listening to Alexis recounting all this. Part of me was horrified. How could so many things happen in the period of one year? Another part of me was relieved that I left school early and escaped all that. And another part of me felt horribly guilty. Here I was, thinking mean thoughts about Alexis, who had to go through a year of that horror in school.
It started me thinking all sorts of thoughts. What if I had stayed? Would I be the same person? Would I go down the path so many of my schoolmates went? Would I attend uni? Would I be more appreciative of the university life I led now? Would things still be the same? Probably not. How could it be?
I just couldn't believe this was happening to people I actually know. You read about these things on the newspapers, hear about it from others... but you don't expect it to happen to you, or to people you know. You think it'll never happen to you, and you'll never feel the impact. That is when it hits the hardest.
I want to break down and cry... and cry for those who can't do it themselves. I hate this world sometimes. The diseases, pain and suffering it brings. It hurts so damn much! I know I have to remind myself that there are also miracles, happiness and love, but it's hard. It's so tempting to harden your heart, than try to keep the wounded heart open a bit longer.
My old classmates... where ever you are, whatever you do... I hope you are well. And me... I'll be depressed a bit longer, I think.
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:22 PM
fate crumbled all around 1 comments
fate crumbled all around 1 comments