Saturday, January 21, 2006
Am I Being Paranoid?
I've always wanted an older brother, although I've never told this to anyone before. My reason for wanting an older brother would seem rather silly, you see, so I was reluctant to tell this to anyone for fear of being laughed at. But years of growing up taught me one thing: don't be afraid to be laughed at, because hey, it's gonna happen sometime anyway. So, the reason for my wanting an older brother is that in books or movies or tv shows, older brothers are often very protective of their younger siblings, especially younger sisters. I wanted to have a sibling who was fiercely protective of me, because... well, to be honest, I don't feel that at all with my older sister. In fact, it's like the other way around.
I worry about my sister. A lot. The first time she went clubbing and came home late, I stayed up and waited for her to come back. The first time she went clubbing and didn't come home, I worried, despite knowing that she was crashing at a friend's house. The first time she went clubbing, got drunk and couldn't come home, I got angry at her recklessness, the way a parent would. Sometimes, when she wasn't home even though she said she would be, I messaged her, worried that something might have happened to her.
I told her to read an article about binge drinking, mentioned drink-driving, and warned her about party pills. I worry, worry, worry.
It's funny, isn't it? The way I worry about my older sister. Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Once, her male friend messaged me in the middle of the night, telling me my sister got so drunk, she was sick. She couldn't drive home, so she was going to stay overnight at his place. And oh, "don't worry, I won't harm her". Let me tell you, I worried. How could I not? My sister was drunk, and in a man's home. I was so angry, I couldn't talk to her the next morning. Not that she noticed.
Am I just overreacting? After all, my sister is an adult. I should let her make her own choices. After all, my parents aren't worried. Should I, the youngest in the family, worry about her?
Lately, she's been hanging out with a guy she met for only about a month. Yet, judging by the way they acted, it was as if they had known each other for at least a year. It was incredulous; how could they act so friendly? Maybe it's me and my traditional mindset that friendship, especially close and intimate friendship, needed time to grow. One month wasn't enough for me. But I guess that's just me.
I asked my sis if he was just a friend, or more than that. She said he was just a friend, but they had lots to talk about. I wondered about his intentions. Did he feel the same way? Or does he want more...? Doesn't my sister realise that she might be leading him on, acting the way she does? Or is it, once again, just me being close-minded? And there's just one thing about this friend of my sis's that bugs me. Even though he seems like a nice guy, I don't like him. There just seems to be something... wrong about him. (Maybe it's the results of reading Hot Gimmick. Ack!)
Maybe I worry too much. But I can't help it. That's why I wanted an older brother, who worries about me... It's really tiring, worrying about other people. My sis, my parents, my friends, my relatives...
I need to learn to relax and try not to take things too seriously... but it is easier said than done.
I worry about my sister. A lot. The first time she went clubbing and came home late, I stayed up and waited for her to come back. The first time she went clubbing and didn't come home, I worried, despite knowing that she was crashing at a friend's house. The first time she went clubbing, got drunk and couldn't come home, I got angry at her recklessness, the way a parent would. Sometimes, when she wasn't home even though she said she would be, I messaged her, worried that something might have happened to her.
I told her to read an article about binge drinking, mentioned drink-driving, and warned her about party pills. I worry, worry, worry.
It's funny, isn't it? The way I worry about my older sister. Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Once, her male friend messaged me in the middle of the night, telling me my sister got so drunk, she was sick. She couldn't drive home, so she was going to stay overnight at his place. And oh, "don't worry, I won't harm her". Let me tell you, I worried. How could I not? My sister was drunk, and in a man's home. I was so angry, I couldn't talk to her the next morning. Not that she noticed.
Am I just overreacting? After all, my sister is an adult. I should let her make her own choices. After all, my parents aren't worried. Should I, the youngest in the family, worry about her?
Lately, she's been hanging out with a guy she met for only about a month. Yet, judging by the way they acted, it was as if they had known each other for at least a year. It was incredulous; how could they act so friendly? Maybe it's me and my traditional mindset that friendship, especially close and intimate friendship, needed time to grow. One month wasn't enough for me. But I guess that's just me.
I asked my sis if he was just a friend, or more than that. She said he was just a friend, but they had lots to talk about. I wondered about his intentions. Did he feel the same way? Or does he want more...? Doesn't my sister realise that she might be leading him on, acting the way she does? Or is it, once again, just me being close-minded? And there's just one thing about this friend of my sis's that bugs me. Even though he seems like a nice guy, I don't like him. There just seems to be something... wrong about him. (Maybe it's the results of reading Hot Gimmick. Ack!)
Maybe I worry too much. But I can't help it. That's why I wanted an older brother, who worries about me... It's really tiring, worrying about other people. My sis, my parents, my friends, my relatives...
I need to learn to relax and try not to take things too seriously... but it is easier said than done.
i know that i have loved you ... at 12:13 AM
fate crumbled all around 2 comments
fate crumbled all around 2 comments