Sunday, January 22, 2006
About Tests, Friends, and Deceiving Appearances
I have a very dreaded oral test this coming Tuesday. So stressing out. I have to watch out for 'th' sounds, 'v' sounds, (beware: linguistics terms!) linking, assimilation, elision... Stress, stress, stress! Come Monday, Andrew and I are gonna practice for the test. Hopefully Andrew'll be able to help me with my 'th' sounds... which I find the hardest! Rar! *my version of roar*
Speaking of Andrew... I just realised that although we've known each other for only two-and-a-half weeks, we already have an inside joke. That's really quite surprising. Who'd knew we'd hit it off? *not in that sense la, idiots!* When I first met Andrew, he seemed really serious and quiet. If the lecturer didn't make us students sit in pairs, I wouldn't have even talked to him! Now, we're practically the most outspoken pair in the class. But then, in a class of Asians, what do you expect? We're a very shy and quiet bunch, we Asians... well, except for the loud-mouthed Malaysian, maybe. Heh.
First appearances... what was your (yes, you!) first image of me? Shing told me that I looked like a happy person. Man, Shing, you make me sound like I'm high on drugs. Sheesh! Then Shing said that it's because I was laughing all the time. Okay, now I'm a laughing idiot high on drugs?? Whee. Love that image. I think Chi Yee thought I was a girl who likes bullying boys... because I happened to be scolding a boy (I think! Correct me if I'm wrong, Chi Yee) the first time he saw me. Well, he's not very far off. I do like bullying boys, especially boys like Chi Yee. He's very bullied-able, you see. Shing agrees, don't ya?
This just makes me think about how appearances can be deceiving. Someone I once thought at first sight was demure, sweet, friendly turned out to be anything but. This type of occurance happened several times in my life, and you'd think I learnt my lesson, but no. It's hard not to judge someone by their looks. After all, I even judge books by their covers, selecting something new to read by looking for eye-catching cover designs. I do the same with people. Except rather than being disappointed, I get hurt.
Sometimes I felt insulted, the way their eyes see past me, because I'm not beautiful or smart or witty, like the rest of their friends. Sometimes I felt dejected, the way they demand me to change who I am, so I can conform to their expectations.
It took me a while, but I broke away from these so-called friends. I can't possibly stay with these destructive bunch, who break down my self-esteem and confidence. Friends encourage you, cheer you on, love you as you are. They don't make you change just because they deem you uncool, because your lifestyle is different from theirs. And so, I added a new principle into my life:
And I'm gonna make damn sure that I'll follow this principle. I've had enough with people hurting me all they like. I'm not gonna stand for that anymore. Because you know what? You might think that you're desperate for some companionship, and you have no right to be choosy... but you're wrong. I say, be choosy. Because sooner or later, some people are gonna come and accept you the way you are, flaws and all. And I think those friends... are worth the wait.
Speaking of Andrew... I just realised that although we've known each other for only two-and-a-half weeks, we already have an inside joke. That's really quite surprising. Who'd knew we'd hit it off? *not in that sense la, idiots!* When I first met Andrew, he seemed really serious and quiet. If the lecturer didn't make us students sit in pairs, I wouldn't have even talked to him! Now, we're practically the most outspoken pair in the class. But then, in a class of Asians, what do you expect? We're a very shy and quiet bunch, we Asians... well, except for the loud-mouthed Malaysian, maybe. Heh.
First appearances... what was your (yes, you!) first image of me? Shing told me that I looked like a happy person. Man, Shing, you make me sound like I'm high on drugs. Sheesh! Then Shing said that it's because I was laughing all the time. Okay, now I'm a laughing idiot high on drugs?? Whee. Love that image. I think Chi Yee thought I was a girl who likes bullying boys... because I happened to be scolding a boy (I think! Correct me if I'm wrong, Chi Yee) the first time he saw me. Well, he's not very far off. I do like bullying boys, especially boys like Chi Yee. He's very bullied-able, you see. Shing agrees, don't ya?
This just makes me think about how appearances can be deceiving. Someone I once thought at first sight was demure, sweet, friendly turned out to be anything but. This type of occurance happened several times in my life, and you'd think I learnt my lesson, but no. It's hard not to judge someone by their looks. After all, I even judge books by their covers, selecting something new to read by looking for eye-catching cover designs. I do the same with people. Except rather than being disappointed, I get hurt.
Sometimes I felt insulted, the way their eyes see past me, because I'm not beautiful or smart or witty, like the rest of their friends. Sometimes I felt dejected, the way they demand me to change who I am, so I can conform to their expectations.
It took me a while, but I broke away from these so-called friends. I can't possibly stay with these destructive bunch, who break down my self-esteem and confidence. Friends encourage you, cheer you on, love you as you are. They don't make you change just because they deem you uncool, because your lifestyle is different from theirs. And so, I added a new principle into my life:
Principle #2: Don't ever compromise yourself for others.
And I'm gonna make damn sure that I'll follow this principle. I've had enough with people hurting me all they like. I'm not gonna stand for that anymore. Because you know what? You might think that you're desperate for some companionship, and you have no right to be choosy... but you're wrong. I say, be choosy. Because sooner or later, some people are gonna come and accept you the way you are, flaws and all. And I think those friends... are worth the wait.
i know that i have loved you ... at 3:36 PM
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