Thursday, December 08, 2005
How Can I Write About A Sensitive Issue?
Abortion -- an issue most wouldn't want to discuss. Pro-choice vs pro-life. Must we really choose?? Even though I tend towards pro-choice, I can't really say for sure that I can take that stand forever. Personally, I would not agree to abortion. I love children, and if I ever had to make a choice between a bright future of my own, and a baby... I would choose having the baby. For some people, having a baby would still work out well, and they're happy they chose a child over work/education/life in general/etc. But this may not be the case for everyone.
Take a cousin of mine, for example. She was 13 when she became pregnant. Forced into a shotgun wedding, she tranformed from a child fresh from primary school, to a wife and mother. Abortion was never a choice. Not because my uncle and aunt thought it was wrong or immoral, or that my cousin wanted the baby, but because the only choice in this sort of situation - to them - was marriage. It's the traditional mindset of the Chinese, typically of the older generation. I'm not saying that she should have an abortion. I just think that a wedding is not the answer. Rather, I believe, other choices could have been a better solution. For example, giving the baby up for adoption. My cousin was only 13! She was a child herself. She wasn't ready to be a mother. All those times I hear my grandmother spoke about my cousin, saying she didn't want her baby anymore... It broke my heart, thinking about the poor child, so resented by her own mother.
It's been years since I last heard about my cousin and her child. I've only seen my little niece once. She was a cute little thing, quiet, with big eyes. The way she called me "Ah Yi, Ah Yi" (meaning Aunt) tugged at my heartstrings. My cousin - her mother - wasn't there. Instead, my uncle, aunt, and my grandmother were looking after her. Perhaps now, my cousin has grown to love her daughter. Perhaps she has matured, and no longer resents her daughter. I can only hope.
The point is, how can one decide on such a sensitive issue as abortion? Is it really that immoral? Is it really murder? After all, there could be exceptional cases. What if you knew that you couldn't give the child a good life? What if bringing the child into the world meant bringing the child into a life of suffering?? I can't agree to pro-life this way. Quality of life is more important than mortality. Yet, condoning abortion seem to be an act against all my instincts... Abortion is something I could never imagine myself do. But I tend towards pro-choice still. Why? Well, I came across a pro-choice website that states that pro-choice isn't pro-abortion, it's pro-CHOICE. It's about having choices.
The reason why I'm going on about this today is because of a story I wrote. It started out as a protest story, which became a flop as I was clueless as to what to write. So I decided to write about something I actually knew about, and had an opinion on. The story became... well, my cousin's story, with some changes. But now that the story's finished, I can't help but feel rather patronizing. As if I'm telling people to condone abortion. But I'm not. I just want to let people know how I feel, that's all. And what I feel is this: Everyone deserves having a choice. So now, I'm rewriting my story, hoping that the second version's message would come out clearer and less condescending. Fingers crossed!
Take a cousin of mine, for example. She was 13 when she became pregnant. Forced into a shotgun wedding, she tranformed from a child fresh from primary school, to a wife and mother. Abortion was never a choice. Not because my uncle and aunt thought it was wrong or immoral, or that my cousin wanted the baby, but because the only choice in this sort of situation - to them - was marriage. It's the traditional mindset of the Chinese, typically of the older generation. I'm not saying that she should have an abortion. I just think that a wedding is not the answer. Rather, I believe, other choices could have been a better solution. For example, giving the baby up for adoption. My cousin was only 13! She was a child herself. She wasn't ready to be a mother. All those times I hear my grandmother spoke about my cousin, saying she didn't want her baby anymore... It broke my heart, thinking about the poor child, so resented by her own mother.
It's been years since I last heard about my cousin and her child. I've only seen my little niece once. She was a cute little thing, quiet, with big eyes. The way she called me "Ah Yi, Ah Yi" (meaning Aunt) tugged at my heartstrings. My cousin - her mother - wasn't there. Instead, my uncle, aunt, and my grandmother were looking after her. Perhaps now, my cousin has grown to love her daughter. Perhaps she has matured, and no longer resents her daughter. I can only hope.
The point is, how can one decide on such a sensitive issue as abortion? Is it really that immoral? Is it really murder? After all, there could be exceptional cases. What if you knew that you couldn't give the child a good life? What if bringing the child into the world meant bringing the child into a life of suffering?? I can't agree to pro-life this way. Quality of life is more important than mortality. Yet, condoning abortion seem to be an act against all my instincts... Abortion is something I could never imagine myself do. But I tend towards pro-choice still. Why? Well, I came across a pro-choice website that states that pro-choice isn't pro-abortion, it's pro-CHOICE. It's about having choices.
The reason why I'm going on about this today is because of a story I wrote. It started out as a protest story, which became a flop as I was clueless as to what to write. So I decided to write about something I actually knew about, and had an opinion on. The story became... well, my cousin's story, with some changes. But now that the story's finished, I can't help but feel rather patronizing. As if I'm telling people to condone abortion. But I'm not. I just want to let people know how I feel, that's all. And what I feel is this: Everyone deserves having a choice. So now, I'm rewriting my story, hoping that the second version's message would come out clearer and less condescending. Fingers crossed!
i know that i have loved you ... at 3:26 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 comments
fate crumbled all around 0 comments