Thursday, August 11, 2005
must get this out
okay, this isn't a story. i know i'm supposed to post some of my written stuff, but i always forget to transfer the files from my laptop to the home pc. and the thing is, i prefer to use the home pc when i go online... so, that's the explanation for the lack of entries.
so many things happened to me this week. maybe not me, per se, but i feel affected nonetheless.
firstly, i found out my aunt has breast cancer. i don't know much details, only through what my dad said. all i know is that she would have to go for surgery. my aunt isn't technically my aunt. she's my father's cousin, but i have always considered her as close as an aunt. she has a very close relationship with my dad, and because of that, i think he's very worried. the problem is, when my dad's worried, he doesn't really like to show it. i think that's evident in our whole family. we're very much a family who never has confrontations. anyway, he didn't say much, and my sister and i got the feeling that he needed some time to himself, so we kept quiet.
i started feeling guilty, because i haven't been in contact with my aunt for half a year. if i had kept in contact with her, i would have known. and i was also kinda mad at my dad, for keeping everything to himself. she was my aunt, and i care for her too! does he think he's the only one's who's worried? well, what happened next didn't help the way i feel.
i was still quietly fuming when i heard the door slammed with a loud bang. my sister and i glanced at each other, but we didn't think much of it. the closet door was kinda funky, and sometimes, took a bit of a slam to close. but then, my dad came out into the living room and said, "i'm sleeping here tonight! she says i don't talk to her..." he mumbled a bit, and began to sob loudly. that was the first time i have ever seen my dad cry. my parents hardly fought, and never once, have i seen my dad sleeping in the living room. it simply doesn't happen in our household. i thought that such a thing only happened in Western tv shows. i was shocked, and i felt really upset. i just found out about my aunt, and now this... i felt so guilty for being mad at him before. i was so certain it was my fault he had a fight with my mom.
the next morning, he stayed at home. i didn't see him till evening, after my classes were over. i wasn't sure if i should say anything, but i took a risk, and asked him what happened. turns out i had a bit to do with their fight.
(will write more tomorrow. have to sleep.)
so many things happened to me this week. maybe not me, per se, but i feel affected nonetheless.
firstly, i found out my aunt has breast cancer. i don't know much details, only through what my dad said. all i know is that she would have to go for surgery. my aunt isn't technically my aunt. she's my father's cousin, but i have always considered her as close as an aunt. she has a very close relationship with my dad, and because of that, i think he's very worried. the problem is, when my dad's worried, he doesn't really like to show it. i think that's evident in our whole family. we're very much a family who never has confrontations. anyway, he didn't say much, and my sister and i got the feeling that he needed some time to himself, so we kept quiet.
i started feeling guilty, because i haven't been in contact with my aunt for half a year. if i had kept in contact with her, i would have known. and i was also kinda mad at my dad, for keeping everything to himself. she was my aunt, and i care for her too! does he think he's the only one's who's worried? well, what happened next didn't help the way i feel.
i was still quietly fuming when i heard the door slammed with a loud bang. my sister and i glanced at each other, but we didn't think much of it. the closet door was kinda funky, and sometimes, took a bit of a slam to close. but then, my dad came out into the living room and said, "i'm sleeping here tonight! she says i don't talk to her..." he mumbled a bit, and began to sob loudly. that was the first time i have ever seen my dad cry. my parents hardly fought, and never once, have i seen my dad sleeping in the living room. it simply doesn't happen in our household. i thought that such a thing only happened in Western tv shows. i was shocked, and i felt really upset. i just found out about my aunt, and now this... i felt so guilty for being mad at him before. i was so certain it was my fault he had a fight with my mom.
the next morning, he stayed at home. i didn't see him till evening, after my classes were over. i wasn't sure if i should say anything, but i took a risk, and asked him what happened. turns out i had a bit to do with their fight.
(will write more tomorrow. have to sleep.)
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:56 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 comments
fate crumbled all around 0 comments